Three steps to a peaceful bedtime

Three steps to a peaceful bedtime

A lot of parents think that there is something wrong with their kids when they can’t fall asleep. Instead of looking for flaws in our children, I recommend we begin by looking inward and observe our own energy. From helping +40,000 parents help their children to sleep it is my experience that the magical changes begin to happen when we become aware of what we radiate at bedtime and begin to parent ourselves first before we parent our children. Here is how to do it! I give you three easy steps. As you’ll notice it is all about us as parents. The kids just mirror our energy. When we are calm and loving, they feel it and can find their own inner peace and falling asleep becomes much easier.

Three steps to a peaceful bedtime

1. Become aware of your energy
To begin with its all about becoming aware of how you feel and which energy you are loaded with
before bedtime.

Try asking yourself the following questions:
– What are your expectations for the upcoming bedtime?
– What thoughts go through your head about the bedtime ahead?
– How does the situation affect you?
– How do you feel inside if the bedtime turns into craziness?
– Where in your body, can you can feel your irritation, frustration, anger, sadness, etc?
– How does it feel?

Pay attention to your body and get to know where your emotions typically emerge in your system.

2. Find your energy switch
Once you become more aware of your energy and what you radiate, it is about finding your switch. Mindfulness is a very efficient tool that can make a HUGE difference.

Mindfulness teaches us to observe ourselves with an open and non-judgmental mind. You learn to be aware of where your focus is, and whether your focus is good for you. For instance, if your attention is on a thought that the upcoming bedtime will become a hell, you can stop and realize that you have this focus.

Once you realize this focus you can shift your attention to a desire to help your child to a good end to the day. It is important that your switch is filled with self-love. Instead of beating yourself up because of your thoughts and feelings, try to be good to yourself so that you can make it a lovely bedtime for both you and your child.

Pay attention to where your attention is directed.

3. Practice and turn up
Once you’ve gotten to know your attention switch, you can view it as a muscle that needs to be practiced. While you practice your energy switch, be curious, play with it, observe it and turn your energies up and down. It is like becoming a master energy detective in your own life. Turn up the things and people who fill you with energy and turn down those who drain you.

It takes training like everything else in life. However, often step 1 of this three-stage exercise – becoming aware of your attention – is enough for us to start seeing significant differences in our relationships. And this applies not only to children but in all other relationships as well.

The reason why it is often the children who can trick us the most is precisely that they are master detectives of our energies and our energies reflect in their behavior. Luckily this also goes for happiness and excitement.

Still not sure how to do it? I offer you an automatic switch!

To help you out with the switch I have written: “The Children’s Meditations: In My Heart”. It has helped thousands of Danish families find their switch. Now it is finally available as a PDF in English. Many parents write to me that the book is magical and has made a huge difference to their bedtime as well as to the well-being of their children with less stress, temper, and anxiety.

The book creates an automatic “switch”. While you read it to your child/children the little master detective senses that mom or dad is having a great time while reading the book, and when mom and dad begin to relax the little master detective relaxes and falls asleep much easier.

The master detective’s reaction will be something like this “I can feel mom/dad is relaxed, mindful, loving, caring, and calm. I love this feeling. It makes me feel very loved and safe. Now I can calm down. There is nothing mysterious going on in my parent’s energies that I need to interpret and react to. Now I can concentrate on myself. And when I concentrate on myself, I feel that my body is tired. Very tired after a long day of being a master detective. I think I will take a little nap.”

This is the reason so many children fall asleep during the meditations. And if they do – please keep on reading – they can still sense your energies while they sleep.

I wish you all the best in finding your switch and creating a loving bedtime routine in your family.

All children deserve to go to bed and fall asleep with their hearts full of love.